It's been a few years since I have travelled as a passenger on an airline. The last time I flew was a trip to Newcastle from Melbourne in 2013. I spent the flight berating myself for not being able to work out the answer I got wrong on Millionaire Hot Seat (I'd been in Melbourne for the taping of the episode). Other flights I've undertaken have seen me chatting with my mate, excited about our upcoming trek through the Himalayas; or trying not to puke as the pilot of Royal Nepal Airlines navigated a tiny plane throughout the mountain peaks; or snoozing on an overnight flight from Singapore to Brisbane; or just reading a book. You know, normal things. What I have never done, and never intend to do, is eavesdrop on the people in front of me and live tweet their conversation and burgeoning friendship to the Twitterverse.
Some nincompoop did this recently, and the creepy action was given the hashtag #planebae, or #prettygirlonplane. It would appear she was really excited that there might be some kind of romance brewing between the people in front of her, and she photographed the people sans permission. Dafuq? Who does this? Oh that's right, everyone these days.
She seemed to think she was the instigator of this fledgling romance, having asked passengers to swap seats, thus facilitating the two sitting together. Maybe she thinks she was some kind of latter day Jane Austin heroine, like Emma Woodhouse, playing matchmaker.
Anyway, the female in the imagined love story ended up having to deactivate her social media accounts following harassment and stalking, and it's all thanks to the she-chump who thought filming and tweeting about strangers sans their permission was, you know, like a really good idea. (Here's a hint: it's fucking well NOT!).
Surely I am not the only person who considers this a monstrous invasion of someone's privacy. The stupidity alone is so mind blowing it would register on the Beaufort scale. Other people's airline travel is really not interesting, and unless the passengers in front of you are joining the Mile High Club, then it's not worth tweeting about.
To the woman (a supposed comedian and writer) who did this: next time you're on eBay, for fuck's sake, try bidding on a LIFE! To anybody who is considering filming and tweeting about me, minus my consent, whilst we are on a flight: best make sure you are equipped with lard, or KY Jelly, or even the little packet of butter the airline catering service provides because if not, then your device will go in sideways and dry!
Next idiot on the list: Donald Trump. It astonishes me that he still holds the office of POTUS. Honest to God, why don't his flunkeys appraise him of etiquette required when he visits a foreign country? Maybe they're all scared of being sacked. The gauche and maladroit tomfoolery he displayed to the Queen is beyond embarrassing for his countrymen. He left her waiting in the sun for fifteen minutes (unmindful of the fact she is a 92-year-old woman), and then blundered around walking in front of her. Dude, it's not on. Some of you will recall the outcry in around 1992 when our then prime minister Paul Keating placed a hand on her back when directing her somewhere. The way some people, particularly the British press who dubbed Keating 'The Lizard of Oz', carried on, you would be forgiven for thinking Keating had either sexually groped the Queen, or else punched her lights out. I didn't think Keating had behaved badly per se, but perhaps he had breached protocol. His intentions were not bad. And maybe Trump's intentions were not bad either, but Jesus Christ hooning up and down the lake on a jetski, what was he thinking? Oh that's right, he WASN'T! Because it's all about MAGA, right? Or else trying to find a way to posture and strut about like a peacock with an erection.
Well, I'm off now. I'm going to finalise some notes for when I resume tutoring upon resumption of school term. Going to see if some kids can pick up the subtext of the conversation between Jack and Ralph upon their initial meeting in Lord of the Flies. I've been re-reading the book whilst cycling on the exercise at the gym. I see so much more in it as an adult, and it is so, so dark.
Catch yas!
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