So last night I settled on the lounge and asked when Mr Bingells would be finished playing the Xbox; I wanted to watch 'Media Watch'. Mr Bingells duly signed out and I reached for the remote. ABC was not the running channel upon the DTV setting being chosen, and alas I was not fast enough to avoid being assailed by some reality show, which I think might have been 'Bride & Prejudice'. Look, I know there are phobias, and racism, and issues in relationships people would probably like to see addressed, but I tend to see these shows as a great excuse to air one's dirty laundry. People, stop it. Just take your dirty laundry to the appropriate room in the house, soak it in Napisan if need be, and run it through a washing machine cycle. This is what you do with dirty laundry. You do NOT partake in a television show that lets everybody know what a horse's arse your family member is because they do not accept your relationship with someone who is much older, much younger, a different religion, a different ethnicity, or the same gender. But what happened to me is I caught a snippet of a young man telling his parents about the person whom he intended to marry, a person whom he loves deeply and who loves him back, a person who happens to be another man.
The young man who was the subject of this flesh crawling type of show is an Aussie, as far as I can tell, and was to marry his American friend over in the US because our screwed up Government has not yet altered the Commonwealth legislation that will bring our country into the 21st century and allow people to marry the PERSON they love, regardless of gender. What struck me, and offended me, was the attitude of his mother. She doesn't accept his wish to marry another man. She would not attend the wedding. She said to him she could not because homosexuality is frowned upon in the Bible.
Whoa, back up a little. Did you say the views of the Bible are what have shaped you into this decision to break your son's heart, when all he wants to do is marry the person he loves, who happens to be another consenting adult of sound mind? You have a problem with the Bible's stance on homosexuality, but you're cool with a book that preaches of talking snakes? You don't pick the flaws in the theory of Creationism, in that who on earth did Adam and Eve's surviving sons, Cain and Seth, marry to start the world populating? They would have to have 'lain' with their own mother in order to reproduce. Cue the banjos.
You have no issue with a God who would order a man to slay his own son in order to prove his loyalty and reverence? Thankfully, just as Abraham was about to strike the fatal blow God sent an angel to inform Abraham things were fine, it was all good, the faith and loyalty was tangible, let the kid go. Abraham gave thanks and let his son go. I'm not sure if the fate of the son is written of, but I'm willing to bet the kid had major personality flaws stemming from serious PTSD.
Do you not question the plausibility of some old man building a boat out of timber in readiness for a crazy-arse flood? Noah probably had help from his sons, but how long would it take to build an ark from gopher-wood? Gopher-wood is quite possibly a form of cypress, which I have as some of my floors, incidentally. The boat was 300 cubits long and 50 cubits wide. We don't generally use cubits in measurement these days, and I'm not sure of the conversions, but I think it's about 510 feet long. That's one long boat, but getting two of every animal on is problematic, because there are thousands upon thousands of species of animals. Nobody knows how many species of animals there are. I have this silly image in my head of Noah and his family trying to catch the different types of flies, and butterflies, and bees, and gnats. I'm imagining him despairing as the rabbits start humping each other and producing a litter of kittens before they've even had time to set sail. My physics is a tad sketchy, but I'm wondering would a menagerie of elephants, and rhinoceroses, and hippos not cause the damn thing to sink? This could of course be a matter of weight distribution, so I won't rule it out entirely. But the droppings produced by all those creatures might make it sink. It would sure as hell make the boat STINK! However, there is a flaw in this: what about the marsupials? Does this woman seriously think upon coming to land at Ararat, all the marsupials swam to what is now Australia?
What on Earth did the population do that got God so pissed off he sent this crazy flood, anyway? Having survived two floods through my own house, one as recently as last Christmas Eve, I'm wondering what in the blue blazes I actually did to incur this. I'm not the greatest person in the world, but I'm not all that bad, so I don't think I did deserve this. Upon hearing the news, my niece said, 'Auntie Simone didn't deserve that.' And she's right. Auntie did not deserve it. But it happened. And soon all my furniture will be replaced, and I will have a house that actually doesn't look like three different kinds of total disarray. Thank goodness I paid my insurance premiums.
Okay, lady, maybe I'm being very facetious and extreme with my examples, but let me put it another way. Do you think Jesus would have turned your son away?
PROUD PARENTING MOMENT: My 12yo asked could we put some more ACDC on my iPod. I am so moved by this. I have a warm, fuzzy and gooey feeling inside knowing I have showed him the right way.
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