In the event the old woman behind me at the Coles check out is reading this, let me point out a few things about the supermarket there, kind of like the way a flight attendant will point out the exits and safety features on a plane. Just as you go to the entry of Coles, there is a trolley bay. Likewise, there are trolley bays in the car park just near the disabled space where the medical centre is located. Also, they are just near Best & Less and The Reject Shop. I hope you can orientate yourself suitably, and locate a trolley bay next time. Where you will NOT find the trolley bay is between my arse cheeks, but that did not stop you trying to stow your trolley there, did it, you silly old cow? Why did you look so surprised when I turned around and asked that you not keep trying to push your trolley into my bum? My bum's not that big, and I know the work uniform slacks I was wearing today actually DON'T make my arse look big, notwithstanding the propensity of the female half of the population to ask that about the garments in which they are clad.
Okay, I've done my rant about people complaining about the banning of hi-vis work wear in a Paddington Pub, and again I beseech everyone to just get over it and remember a venue can enforce a dress code. But apparently Premier Mike Baird, and various TV talking heads are weighing in and critical of the proprietor's choice of dress code. Fuck off, you people. Baird, people in my area of the State are worried about the Newcastle train line, not what you think of someone's right to have a dress code at his own goddamn pub, okay?
Now it's time to rant about reactions to the opening of The Cruise Bar in Sydney. You know something? I think the concept of having food served from naked bodies is immensely tacky as well. But I think the models who posed as platters were wearing flesh coloured pants and boob tubes; I'm sure I saw these in the pics. What bugs me is the unhygienic nature of presenting food in this manner. Food handlers have to wear gloves, so why would it be okay to serve chopped fruit off someone's bare skin? I wouldn't bloody eat it, even if it came fresh from Hugh Jackman's abs! I do find this sort of entertainment tawdy and off-putting, so I wouldn't bother going to the venue. I live in a town with a lingerie bar on just about every corner, so I don't bother going to the pubs on the skimpy nights, because again, it's something I find rather tacky. BUT I do support the rights of the models to earn their income how they see fit. A sector of the populace are again losing their shit over the 'platters', about the demeaning nature and the objectification of women. There were scantily clad male models there, too, but the males were permitted to walk around, and therefore having the women unable to move just contributed to the objectification and oppression of women. Really? I thought the models had to lie prone and still because if they got up, the chopped fruit would roll about everywhere. I was actually more irritated by comments about 'the women just laying on the table'. They weren't 'laying', they're not chooks, okay? They were LYING on the table. Now, if everyone has a problem with this from a morally outraged view, just ask the models who put the gun to their heads and forced them to take on the job. Ask them who denied them the right to make their own informed decision as consenting adults. The answer might just be 'nobody'. It's their own choice. I heard they were paid $500 for the job, and quite frankly I'd be happy to peel off my clobber, put on some flesh coloured undies and lie on a table with fruit on me for that kind of coin, too. I occasionally have to clean faecal matter off people, and the pay's not that much great compared to what the models earned the other night.
Book Week Parade again today. My 11yo wanted to go as a Fairy Princess. I was worried he might be teased or bullied, but he wanted to be a fairy or a princess. I suggested if he wanted to be a fairy, then how about Oberon, King of the Fairies from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'? He thought this a good idea, so we shopped for a costume. He really wanted to wear a tiara, and we bought a pretty one adorned with fake purple amethysts. He insisted on wearing it in Big W as we tried to source other things Oberon might have worn. I worried about bigger kids teasing him or bullying him. I became annoyed because I did not want to infringe on his creativity. I became angered that he might not be able to just be a fairy, which would hurt nobody, because narrow minded people have a problem with it. I thought he could really make a difference if kids are scared to dress how they want for fear of being bullied (he's not scared personally, but I know I was worried for him). I had an epiphany just near the Men's Wear section, and that epiphany went like this: Fuck It! I looked at him and said, 'You know what? You're my son, and I love you, and you are going to be the best bloody fairy there! If anyone says something, tell them they're Philistines for not knowing their Shakespeare. And if anyone says, 'You look like a girl!', just say, 'It's better than looking like you: ugly!''. So he went to school in black, with pink wings, a wand, and his pretty tiara on his head.
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