Disastrous Duets

Okay, so today my Facebook group are posting really rank duets.  There are many.  I'm not going to be narky about 'Ebony & Ivory' in this post because, let's face it, it's a no-brainer.  When it was played back to Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Stevie probably wished he could have been struck deaf as well.  But if you're travailing cyberspace and wondering about what to avoid should it come to your notice, here are some stinkers:

1.  'When Something Is Wrong With My Baby' by Jimmy Barnes and John Farnham.  This is a yowling cacophony of pure aural horror.  It is overwrought to the point of caricature, and has all the subtlety of a fisting by a knuckle-duster-wearing Irish stevedore. 

2. 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' by Macy Gray and some now dead tone deaf clown who went by the name OBD.  Not sure what those initials stood for, but I'm choosing to run with Overly Bloated Dreck.  Obviously it is a remake of the delightful Elton John and Kiki Dee.  I never understood the fuss about Macy Gray; she sounds like she's singing through a humungous wad of freshly coughed up lung butter.  And as for this OBD, there is a reason rappers don't sing, and he proves it in this melodic monstrosity.  Truly, he makes Bob Dylan sound like Pavarotti.  The studio engineer probably resigned, and joined corporate America just like his parents wanted him (or her) to.

3.  'Crusin'' by Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow.  Only because it's Gwyneth. She's annoying. 

4. 'The Girl is Mine' by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney.  In relation to the first paragraph of my posting hereof, it would seem that a sure fire to make a stinker of a song in the Eighties was to record a duet with the now Knighted Beatle bassist.  I am sure I never heard this song without feeling my ears shrivel.  And their woeful 'Say, Say, Say' is also in the same drawer marked 'Shit Duet'. 

5. 'State of Shock' by Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson.  It's just, just, well, shit.  It's pointless.  Mick Jagger, leader of the wild Rolling Stones singing this stupid song with the fartiest man to grace the planet?  I know Jacko was a wildly talented performer, but this song just - I'm  not sure I can even go there such is the pointlessness of this crap.  It certainly left me in a state of shock as to what Jagger's motives and thoughts were, and my ears were stunned.

So avoid those, blog-browsers.  If you do happen to listen, don't say you weren't warned.