I’m working
today, so I did what I normally do: a few yoga stretches, physio exercises for
my bung knee, brewed a strong cappuccino, and went through the typical morning
ablutions. The ablutions included applying deodorant. I’m not going to tell you
the brand, because I’m not here to spruik for that organisation, but I will
tell you what brand it was not, and that was Dove. I will also tell you what brand deodorant is unlikely to grace
my pits or what brand body wash is unlikely to cleanse my form under the shower
spray, and – you guessed it! – that brand is: Dove.
Why am I
picking on Dove, you might be wondering. Okay, wonder no more. I am avoiding
Dove simply because they have really fucking annoyed me. And how have they
annoyed me; I hear you ask. The answer is simple: they’ve put shit on the
decision for Brendan Fraser to be awarded this year’s Oscar for his portrayal
of a morbidly obese man in the film The Whale.
Dove, just so we’re clear here: the fat suit did not win the award, Brendan did. For ACTING. Dove have joined the call that such a role should have gone to a suitably obese actor. Okay, I didn’t actually go through with that law degree and I’m sure the former Lucifer below has his own consigliere, but I’m about to play Devil’s Advocate here, and put forward these arguments to Dove, and everyone else who states a morbidly obese actor should have been cast in the role.
Argument the First: How do you know the studios did NOT put out a call for overweight actors?
Argument the Second: The character being played by Fraser balloons out to a frightening 600 pounds. That’s over 272 kilograms. That’s approximately 43 stone. That is, yes, morbidly obese. Let’s have a look at that word ‘morbid’. It is associated with death and disease. A person that heavy will be plagued with and drowning in health issues, so do you believe such an actor could cope with the demanding and gruelling schedule of filming?
Argument the Third: Given the health issues of this hypothetical actor, do you think there must MIGHT be some issues with obtaining insurance for the set? The insurers might not be willing to underwrite the production.
Argument the Fourth: The on-set adjustments for OH & S, together with lack of available insurance, could make it just not worth casting a person who is 600 pounds, as unpalatable and un-PC as that may sound.
Argument the Fifth: Brendan Fraser is an ACTOR. Actors do this thing called ACTING. By all accounts, he did a bloody good job. He has been through a difficult time, having experienced unwanted sexual attention from producers and been blacklisted. Let him enjoy his Oscar without shitting on his achievements.
Argument the Sixth: The suit and prosthetics worn by Fraser have been created by artisans who also received accolades for their achievements. This means employment for them.
Argument the Seventh: Movies are an art form that involve making illusions real. This particular movie involved an actor with makeup and prosthetics. Deal with it.
Argument the Eighth: Do you expect producers to cast real zombies and real murderers in films that deal with such subject matter?
I recently
submitted an assessment for uni wherein I had to design a four-week unit for
Year 11 English. One of my lessons involves the students debating the question
that if a character is diverse, should only actors with that diversity be cast
or should art for art’s sake always apply? It’s an interesting conundrum and
one which I believe will encourage the critical thinking we want in our young
people. I wonder what my hypothetical students would say about this situation.
I’ve said my piece.
Dove, stick
to your toiletries, okay?
