Riddle me this: why do people post stupid stuff and go into politics? Answers:
(a) Because they're stupid
(b) Because they're troglodytes
(c) Because they join the Liberal Party
(d) All of the above
Sometimes, if you have a potentially really stupid opinion, you should keep it off social media. Paradoxically, if your opinion is stupid enough to rupture the time/space continuum, then chances are you're too stupid to see that social media is not the place for stupid and inflammatory opinions if you want to pursue a career in politics.
Okay, if you're wondering what I'm talking about, a post by the Liberal member for Mundingburra has surfaced from the depths of some foul, smelly swamp wherein he shared historic footage of people discussing whether education is a waste of time for married women. He commented that there was definitely more research needed.
Look, Glennie Boy, let me spell it out for you: there is no research needed. None. Zilch. Zero. Blank. Void. Nothingness. The reason for this is simple: Education, no matter for whom, is NOT A WASTE OF TIME! Maybe try some yourself, when your knuckles feel a bit better, because the Almighty knows they must be scraped raw from being dragged along the ground.
That odious comment has no place in our society, which is one that does not entail sitting in a tree flinging your own excrement. The dependent clause of that previous sentence describes what I imagine your existence to be.
I'm a married woman, and I am in the process of getting some education. It's hard. It's interesting. It's making me want to break sobriety. But I'm pleased I'm doing it. My kids aren't neglected. The only thing suffering at the moment is my sanity. But I will get this education and use it for good.
Riddle me this: Why do people whinge when the problem can be easily remedied with a little common sense? Answer:
(a) They're lame
(b) They want their Warholian fifteen minutes
(c) They possess neither lateral thinking skills nor common sense
(d) All of the above.
Okay, that particular riddle referred to the people groaning about the Emma Wiggle costume which, given it's October, I surmise is some Halloween gimmick. What people are groaning about is the costume comes in one for boys (yellow skivvy and black trousers) and one for girls (yellow skivvy and black tutu). 'What about a tutu for boys?' 'What if boys want a tutu?' 'Seeeeexxxxiiiiisssssttttt!' scream the usual adherents to the Church of Dumbarsery.
Okay, you people: I'm going to suggest something. Before I do, make sure you've emptied your bladder. You might also consider removing your socks, because what I'm about to tell you is going to knock them off because of its mind-blowing simplicity. Right. Are you all comfortable? Here goes:
Does your little boy wish to dress as Emma Wiggle, but wants to wear a tutu? What you have to do is purchase a girl's costume in his size that has the tutu, and get him to put it on. Jesus Christ hopping up and down on a pogo stick fitted with an outboard motor, and also fitted with fluffy dice and a fox tail waving in the breeze: isn't that INCREDIBLE? Who'd have thunk it? Thank me later. And in future: stop whingeing and start THINKING.
Okay, I'm tired. I'm full of mushroom pizza. I have work to do on the weekend - curse that education thing; how dare I undertake it when I'm a married woman?
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