Saturday 9 November 2013

A List For Today

So I sat down and decided to compile a list of things that suck a bit somewhat lately.  I'll try not to be too much of an Eeyore from 100 Acre Wood about these things.  I didn't like Eeyore as a kid - the dude was total negativity and sucked all the joy out of a room like an imploding black hole.  Didn't like Winnie the Pooh much, either - gluttonous fat fuck he was.

1.  The annoyance I felt at the relevant government whilst watching the David Hicks interview this morning.  (Did someone say John Howard?).  It doesn't matter what they THINK HE DID, the fact was he was locked away without consular access for five years, and charged with a crime that legally didn't exist at the salient time of the alleged offence.  This, in law and in life, sucks donkeys' balls.  You cannot just say, 'I don't like what I think you might have done, so I'm going to enact a law NOW and charge you.'

2.  The fury I felt when I saw Tony Abbott on television this morning, talking about boat illegals.  'They bloody are not!' I snapped at the television.  My 12yo asked me what ailed me, and I explained, jabbing a finger toward the television like a Grimm Brothers fairy tale crone, 'That man there!  He's the Prime Minister, and he's talking utter crap!'

3.  That song 'Jack and Jill' by Raydio.  Now some of you probably haven't thought of this melodic silliness since it was inflicted upon us in 1978.  Perhaps some of you had it buried like a suppressed traumatic memory.  I was goofing around on the Internet and looked up some Billboard Top 100 charts.  This silly song actually is here.  Don't get me wrong, the blokes performing can carry a tune, but this offering and interpretation of a children's nursery rhyme is so farty and pointless.  So farty and pointless, I suspect they might have inspired some of Coldplay's latter day material ('Paradise', anyone?).  They asked us why do we think Jack snuck down the hill.  Well, I didn't want to know, but they go on to explain he needed 'love he couldn't get from Jill.'  Either Jill refused to put out, or she was a bloke in drag.  I don't care.  But why record such a pissy song?

4.  The Channel 7 news crew that waylaid Simon Gittany on his way to court and asked inappropriate questions, thus earning themselves a little summons to the court from the presiding judge.  Are you clowns trying to cause a mistrial?  Do you clowns not realise that regardless of how heinous an offence with which a person is charged is, the charged person is entitled to a presumption of innocence until otherwise proven in a COURT OF LAW, and not a court of tabloid journalism.  So what will happen should the case be aborted, one would imagine, is that these tabloid television shows will screen an ex-pos-zaaaay about tax payers' money funding criminal trials.  Which, incidentally, I'm more than happy for my tax dollars to do.  I'd much rather this to funding some rorting politician attending a wedding and claiming it as expenses, let's just say.

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